Streets of Milan at night in Summer, on business.

How well do you know yourself?

Would a short list of your strong and weak points match with those that your boss would say about you? Co-workers? Girlfriend/wife?

Give it a shot and see what comes back to you. Is your list the same as the way others see you?

Try to make the criteria for this evaluation as clear as possible. What are you assessing? A specific skill? Your overall job performance? Your people skills? All of these are important, sometimes its worth just looking at one aspect of your career or workplace function in order to really assess what you are manifesting at work, and those skills which are yet to appear. Because to me, its not about failure, its about latency. Skills that have yet to appear.

How much do you really want to know? Once you start asking yourself these kinds of questions, you may end up getting answers that you may not want to hear, but it is my strong advice that you do this when you can, and then listen. And do it regularly, without being obsessive.

By listening, I mean getting somewhere away from others, without the dialogue and self-justification that so often appears in these exercises when we bring others into the picture, and contemplate. Take these comments on board and look at them for what they are, building blocks to a stronger and more effective you.

Be completely impartial with yourself. Be honest, even if that means acknowledging some things about yourself that you may be afraid to admit in public.

Now- start having a read of the comments.

Look at any positive remarks that you received without judgment or preference, this is not an ego building exercise. If you are already receiving some good grades from these judges, then just acknowledge that you need to keep doing those things.

Now the negative comments, or brutally honest ones if you have picked your judges right. Read one comment at a time, then put the comments down and feel.

Ask yourself if there is merit in the comment. If there is, acknowledge it. If you are failing to manifest a certain quality, then admit it. This is personal time here, and you need to be honest and realistic. If you don’t think there is merit in the comment, then you need to be able to come up with a very good reason why. But I would say that there is probably some truth to the comment, so look at it dispassionately and contemplate.

You need to know yourself better than anyone, or people that you just don’t see eye to eye with. Because by looking at these things, you can really bring out the best in you. Looking at it in that light, even the people you don’t like are helping you discover your own potential.

In the ancient East they once believed, “by knowing your weaknesses they can become your strengths”. That means first acknowledging, then actualizing a path to remedy or change the situation within yourself, and actualizing these latent skills and talents.

Sometimes its just attitude. A lot of times, its about our own personal awareness, and extending it out further than you have been. Acknowledgment of any issues is the key. Accept these comments or suggestions and grow stronger from it.

Yes, its across the board. You may be a big winner in some areas, and yet be an absolute failure in others. However, this exercise will give you the awareness and direction you need to do something about it, and fast.

The people that you pick for feedback are key. Don’t look for yes men. Go for those people you respect and admire for their own people skills and balanced performance. It’s amazing how we manifest differently to different audiences. Make sure you aim wide.

And then, after taking this all on board, do something about it.

Its all in the dance. Its not just a series of flashy moves, but how you keep those feet moving on your personal journey through life. These comments are just signposts along the way to help you from losing your way.

If you can know yourself so well that you can point out your good and bad points as well as your colleagues and intimates, and be making consistent efforts to improve the weaker areas while maintaining the strong, you are going to be an invaluable asset to your team. Your family. To life.

Know thyself, and always remain humble. Hey, its ok to smile a little when you receive praise, but remember: keep those feet moving.